Somebody Has Eye Sex with 300!

Somebody Has Eye Sex with 300!

Canmag.com


February 9,2007


by Ryan Parsons



Not that we need anymore convincing that Warner Bros' 300 is going to dominate March with its stylized gore, but another positive review couldn't hurt.

Early Review: 300

The good people over at AICN have received a positive review for 300 that is so humorous that it would have been a crime not to point it out. Below are a couple of my favorite snippets:

I just saw a movie that’ll give your eyes boners, make your balls scream and make you poop DVD copies of THE TRANSPORTER. It’s called 300. I don’t know what the title has to do with the movie, but they could’ve called it KITTENS MAKING CANDLES and it’d still rule.

The movie takes place about a million years ago, and it’s sort of like a prequel to SIN CITY. Except way less guns and cars but twice as much skull splitting.

Just ass kicking that kicks ass that, while said ass is getting kicked, is kicking yet more ass that’s hitting someone’s balls with a hammer made of ice but the ice is frozen whiskey.

The reviewer goes on to point out two things he liked -- rock music and mini-bosses -- and one thing he didn't like - dude nudity ("dude-ity").

My final analysis is 300 the most ass-ruling movie I’ve seen this year, and will probably be the King of 2007 unless someone makes a movie where a pair of sentient boobs fights a werewolf.

Check out the entire report on 300 over at AICN.

300 opens to theatres on March 9th, 2007.

For the video journals, stills, trailers, more stills, posters and movie info, head over to the 300 Movie Page.



http://canmag.com/nw/6706-300-screening-report